The main problems of teenagers. What problems are characteristic of adolescence A teenager and his problems

Maria, the mother of 14-year-old Kirill, says: “My son came home late almost every day. He seemed capricious and absent-minded, wore long hair did poorly in school and ate little. When I found a pack of cigarettes in his jacket, I realized that we had problems.”

Adolescence is an age of change. Adolescents are vulnerable, they can develop bad habits that can develop into serious problems in adulthood. Quite often teenagers have behavior problems and parents can't do anything about it.

Let's take a look at the most common problems teenagers face and what parents can do about it.

How to deal with teenagers' problems

Adolescence is not easy for both children and their parents. The only way to deal with the challenges of adolescence is to know everything about them and be prepared for them. Let's take a look at the most common problems teenagers face.

1. Physical changes

Physical changes in adolescents occur due to changes in their hormonal levels.

• Girls develop breasts and this can be uncomfortable at first.
• Girls begin to realize their figure.
• The boys' voice breaks and facial hair begins to grow. This is the most noticeable change that happens to them during adolescence.
• Acne is a major problem for teenagers.
• Increases in adolescents muscle mass. Sometimes this leads to excess body weight.
• Increased body odor.
• Girls begin their menstrual cycle.

The best way to help your child get through this period is to tell him about the changes that are happening to him.

• Explain to your teen that body changes are normal. Every teenager goes through this.
• Help your teen adapt to change: acknowledge the change yourself and help your child recognize it.
• Encourage your child to eat healthy and exercise. This will be the key to their health and good physical shape.

2. Emotional changes

Changes in hormonal levels cause not only physical, but also emotional changes in adolescents.

• Adolescence is a transitional period between childhood and adulthood. Teenagers are often embarrassed by this: as adults they have responsibilities, and as children they have desires.
• Teenagers are overly emotional (and this is also associated with hormones). Literally anything can make them happy, sad or angry.
• Teenage girls are too vulnerable and often cry.
• Frequent mood swings are common to both boys and girls.
• Physical changes cause self-reflection in adolescents.
• Children who reach puberty early may feel strange.
• In adolescence, children often realize their own inferiority or, conversely, superiority over others.
• During adolescence, children often have thoughts about sex. This may make them feel guilty.

Adolescence is a period of constant emotional ups and downs. And that's okay. You can help your child deal with emotional problems.

• Help your teen take care of themselves. Tell him that it's okay to feel what he feels.
• Encourage your child to exercise. Physical activity maintains the level of the “happiness hormone” serotonin in the body, which is responsible for positive feelings.
• Let the teenager talk. Listen to him without judgment. Don't give him advice if he's not ready for it.
• Talk to your teen about how your adolescence went. This will make him understand that it is quite normal to feel the way he feels.
• Motivate your child to do what he likes, as this will help him channel his emotions into a creative direction.

3. Changes in behavior

Emotions overwhelming a teenager can lead him to impulsive behavior, which, in turn, can harm both himself and others. Impulsive behavior is typical of children at this age and continues throughout adolescence.

• Adolescence is a time when children strive for independence. They question the rules set by their parents and do what they themselves think is right.
• Teenagers are developing their brains. This makes them moody and stubborn.
• Hormonal changes in teenage boys push them into physical confrontations. They also like to listen to loud music.
• In an effort to become more independent, teenagers want to try new things and take risks. This manifests itself in careless behavior.
• Sometimes peer pressure and the need to comply with the rules of their companies form bad habits in teenagers, which are then very difficult to change.
• Teenage fashion changes frequently. Your teen's clothes and hairstyle may not be to your liking.
• The most dangerous thing about adolescence is that a teenager can associate with bad company and develop dangerous habits.
• Lying is one of the most common behavioral problems among teenagers. Teenagers lie to avoid conflict with their parents or out of fear.

• Behavior problems in teenagers bring a lot of inconvenience to parents. But remember that this is a temporary stage, and it is quite normal.
• To correct a teenager's behavior, it is important to gain his trust. Talk to him and listen to him. Do not criticize - this can only aggravate the situation.
• Let your teen know that you love them for who they are. Motivate him to always be himself, and not adapt to others.
• Remember that a teenager is somewhat dependent on his emotions, and therefore needs your support. Help him: tell him what you do when you feel sad, angry, jealous, etc. Your clues will help him deal with his own emotional problems.
• If you see that your child is in bad company, you need to intervene. However, remember that teens are sensitive and can be sensitive to criticism.

4. Smoking, alcohol And drugs

Teenagers are easily influenced by bad influences. The biggest problem parents of teenagers around the world face is smoking, alcohol and drug use.

• Most often, teenagers try cigarettes, alcohol or drugs under peer pressure.
• The propensity for risky behavior encourages many teenagers to try alcohol or drugs even before adulthood.
• "Thrills", if they are not stopped, can develop into a bad habit.
• If one of the parents of a teenager smokes or drinks alcohol, this can be a role model.
• Low self-esteem or a desire to appear "cool" can lead a teenager to use alcohol or drugs.
• If alcohol or cigarettes are readily available to a teenager, he is tempted to try them.

• Be attentive to your child's behavior. Pay attention to whether he has lost his appetite, whether he sleeps well, and whether he has sudden mood swings.
• Do not supervise the child and do not accuse him of any wrongdoing. Encourage him to be honest and share his thoughts with you. Talk to him about his problems.
• If the child does not want to talk to you, doctors may ask him a few questions to find out if he uses alcohol or drugs. Do not force your child to be tested for drugs, as this can lead to conflicts between you.
• In case of emergency, seek medical attention.

5. Learning Difficulties

Adolescence is the period when children finish school and prepare to enter higher education institutions. They have more study-related activities.

• The pressure to do well in school and get into college can make a teenager feel stressed and sad.
• The need to learn lessons, study with tutors and do homework often leads to overwork.
• Classes that distract a child from studying are a path to poor academic performance and additional pressure on a teenager.

• Encourage your children to learn. They need it to be successful in life.
• It is worth reducing the number of household chores for a teenager so that he can focus on his studies.
• healthy eating and physical exercise can help a teenager gain strength and endurance. The child needs this to cope with difficulties in this difficult period.
• If you feel your child is overwhelmed by tutoring, cut back. A teenager does not have the same stamina as an adult, and he gets tired faster.

6. Health problems

Teenagers are often vulnerable – emotionally and physically. Without proper nutrition and care for their health, they are prone to various diseases.

• Teenagers often have busy schedules. Between classes, they do not have time to rest and eat properly, and because of this they do not receive enough nutrients.
• Thinking about your body can lead teenagers, especially girls, to eating disorders. Girls worry about their appearance and weight, which can lead to anorexia or bulimia.
• Stress in teenagers is a recipe for loss of appetite or insomnia.
• Absence healthy eating and physical activity often leads to obesity. This happens, for example, when a child eats high-calorie foods, fast food and carbonated drinks.

Parental guidance can help teens cope with health problems and develop healthy lifestyle habits. Showing your child a role model, encourage him to eat healthy food exercise and get enough sleep.

• Make sure your teenager is getting the right amount of nutrients. Take care of balanced diet for a child.
• Give your teen emotional and physical support. This will help him cope with a variety of troubles.

7. Psychological problems

Studies have shown that about 50% of mental disorders that affect adults begin around the age of 14. A third of the deaths that happen to teenagers are due to suicide due to depression. Therefore, if your child is prone to frequent mood swings, if he suffers from insomnia or loss of appetite, you should seek the help of a specialist.

• Adolescents may have problems with self-esteem or self-confidence. Feelings of inferiority or, conversely, superiority often arise from appearance or teen body acceptance.
• Poor academic performance and low intelligence can also reduce the motivation of adolescents. They develop an attitude that they are not good enough.
• One of the most common psychological problems in teenagers is depression.
• Adolescents can become anxious from constant stress, and mood swings often lead to conduct disorder or oppositional defiant disorder.
• Eating disorders are also associated with psychological problems associated with low self-esteem of a teenager and his desire, by all means, to change his appearance.

Although tantrums and mood swings are quite common in adolescents, this is not the only evidence of psychological problems in children of this age. Determining the symptoms of such problems can be difficult, sometimes requiring the help of a specialist.

• In many cases, a healthy lifestyle and talking to a teenager about their problems can prevent depression.
• If a teenager has frequent mood swings, you should seek help from a specialist.
• Sometimes a teenager feels bad only at home, feeling quite normal with friends or at school. Talk to your teenager's teachers and friends about how he is feeling. If there is still cause for concern after this, take action.
• Don't ignore your teen's feelings as this can make things worse.
• Encourage your child to interact with you. Talk to him yourself. If you think it will be difficult for a teenager to talk to you, talk to him in a car where you won't be face to face with him.

8. Goodbye And relationship

During puberty, adolescents begin to be attracted to the opposite sex. During this period, their genitals begin to develop. Teenagers may feel uncomfortable in various social situations.

• Teenagers are in search of an image of their own "I". They look for role models at home or among their social circles.
• Teenagers often think about what actions are right and wrong. They doubt many things.
• Teenagers need time to explore and accept their sexuality. Both girls and boys have "strange" feelings towards the opposite sex and often don't know what to do about it.
• In adolescence, children begin to go on dates. They are reluctant to talk about it with their parents.
• Another important aspect of a teenager's social life is competition. Teenagers compete with each other in everything. This shows their self-esteem.
• Thoughts and feelings related to sex may seem wrong to a teenager. He may feel guilty about it.
• The teenager's social circle is expanding. He communicates with friends live, on the phone, on social networks, etc.

• Dating and relationships are sensitive issues that teenagers may be reluctant to talk about. Don't put him in an awkward position. If you talk to a teenager about such topics, do it confidently and judiciously.
• Accept the fact that your teen spends more time with friends than with you. Just let him know that you will always be there when he needs it.
• Share your life experiences with your teenager. Tell stories that happened to you as a teenager. This might be helpful.

9. Sexual health and venereal diseases

The development of secondary sexual characteristics in adolescents causes them unusual feelings and pushes them to explore their bodies.

• At this age, teenagers have their first kiss, their first slow dance, their first date, and so on.
• Without parental guidance, a teenager may become sexually active before they are ready. This can lead to unwanted pregnancy. This is the biggest risk teenage girls face.
• Unprotected sex can also lead to various sexually transmitted diseases.

• Talk to your child about sex life. Your task is to explain to him the importance of safe sex.
• Hormonal changes make teenagers act impulsively. Therefore, you should talk to your teen about the consequences of unprotected sex and how it can affect the rest of their lives.
• Awareness - the only way prevent early pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases in adolescents.

10. Internet- addiction

• Teenagers can spend hours talking on the phone, chatting on social networks or just playing games.
• Teenagers who are overly addicted to the Internet tend to have fewer friends and a less active social life. They spend time in seclusion in front of the monitor.
• Internet addiction also reduces the physical activity of adolescents. This forms an unhealthy and sedentary lifestyle.
• Internet addiction negatively affects the academic performance of teenagers.

• If a teenager spends a lot of time at the computer, this does not mean that he is addicted to the Internet. But he could more useful take advantage of the time he spends at the computer.
• Do not prevent your teenager from using the Internet. It will only make him more stubborn. Instead, motivate your son or daughter to do other things.
• You can control the child, but he is likely to take it hostilely. Remember that he is no longer a baby and has the right to independent decisions. Prompt your children the right decisions, but never make decisions for them.
• Organize activities that will get your teen interacting face-to-face with other people, such as family dinners.
• Set restrictions on the use of electronic devices in your home. For example, determine the hours when a teenager cannot use a mobile phone. Also, don't keep your phone in your teen's bedroom, as it can interfere with their sleep patterns.

11. Aggression And cruelty

Aggression is especially common in adolescent boys. They develop muscles, their voice becomes coarser, they add in growth. In addition, they become more emotionally vulnerable.

• Teenagers often get into fights at school.
• Worse, they may start bullying their peers. This can turn into a serious problem.
• Teenagers can get into bad company and commit illegal activities.
• The impulsive behavior of teenagers can lead to serious consequences. According to the World Health Organization, 180 adolescents worldwide die every year from peer violence.

• Teach your children to be kind and considerate in their relationships with others. This will prevent possible manifestations of aggression.
• Prevent your teen from accessing alcohol and dangerous items (such as guns).
• Teach your child compassion. Show him a good example of this.
• Try to protect your child from violent films, books and TV shows at an age when he still does not distinguish between what is good and what is bad.
• Offer your child sports and exercise as a way to throw out negative emotions. This will help him understand that it is okay to be angry if he finds the right way to express his anger.

When you are aware, you can help

You were once a teenager yourself. But as soon as your child enters adolescence, it seems to you that you know absolutely nothing about teenagers. Understand that you have already been through everything that your teenager faces. Be attentive and try to understand how he feels. This will help you deal with many problems.

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Adolescence is a difficult time not only for parents, but also for children themselves. At this time, parents often realize that the rules by which they communicated with children no longer apply, at this time parenting mistakes often pop up - they understand that something needs to be changed.

We are in website decided to find out what so often prevents us, parents, from building strong, warm relationships with teenagers and not losing their trust.

13. Insist on candor

It is difficult for many parents to accept that a grown-up child does not allow them into all areas of his life. Often they begin to demand more frankness from the child. But it is extremely important for a teenager to feel his independence, to rely on his own opinion. The more he feels pressure on himself, resentment from his relatives, the more he begins to close and protect his personal space: he moves away from frankness, begins to deceive.

12. Violate personal space

Sometimes, out of the best of intentions, parents begin to check the pockets, bag, correspondence of a teenager. By doing this, we not only disrespect the child, but also devalue his personal space, and he is just beginning to try to treat him.

This greatly undermines his confidence in both his parents and himself. It is worth making an effort to ensure that control is the result of an open and honest agreement between you and the child.

11. Ignoring the opinion of a teenager

When parents are not interested in the opinion of the child, do not take it into account - he feels that it is not important for parents, and concludes that he is not loved and respected.

Such behavior can provoke aggression in the child. The second option is also possible: the child will give up in response to your persistence and one day may simply lose the ability to make decisions on their own.

10. Make vague demands

Of course, at the level of common sense, the child will understand you, but it can be very difficult for him to implement the requirement, since the criteria are rather vague.

Over time, this can lead to a big difference of opinion between you.: the child will consider that he already meets the requirements in full, and you - that there is always something to strive for. To avoid this, it is worth knowing exactly what you want, and learning how to say it to children in the same way.

9. Devalue his feelings

Parents often think that children overdramatize events. But if the child does not regularly receive support from loved ones, he feels rejected and closes even more. Or begins to protest against his parents and behave aggressively.

Try to take seriously everything that happens to the child, respect his feelings, appreciate his trust. Let him know that he is understood and accepted, that his feelings are important to you.

8. Not Always Consistent

Sometimes, in order for the child to fulfill the requirements, parents resort to promises or threats that cannot be fulfilled in advance. But, when the desired goal is achieved, they forget about their words or simply do not rush to fulfill them.

But it is worth remembering: teenagers are very scrupulous about fulfilling the promises of adults. If over and over again relatives will say empty words, the child will stop believing them. So parents will lose authority in the eyes of a teenager.

7. Teach him too much about life.

You should not turn your parental authority into a dictate. Otherwise, this can simply lead to either a strong rebuff and aggression on the part of the child, or you simply risk breaking his integrity and self-esteem.

Parents of teenagers should strive for reasonable compromises. Make decisions together with the child, make concessions that will allow him to save his face. It is worth learning to see in the child, first of all, a person who needs to be respected.

6. Live his life

When the whole life of the parents is built only around the child, dissolved in it, this is already an obvious bust. Children, adopting the attitude of their parents towards themselves, may begin to treat them with the same obviously dismissive attitude.

Parents should devote time to their own interests, find time for relaxation. Without this, it is extremely difficult to build the right relationship with the child, and it is difficult for him to be proud of his parents and appreciate them.

5. Not interested in his life

Without knowing how a child lives, what interests him, it is impossible to build trusting relationships with him, which are so important in adolescence.

If you try to learn more about what is happening in the child's life, about his hobbies and show your awareness, then you will earn his favor, you will have something to talk about.

4. Constantly criticize

Parents often believe that praise should only be given for excellent grades. However teenagers need approval in all their affairs. This gives the child strength to move on, helps to experience failures more easily.

At the same time, no one cancels healthy criticism. But it is always worth restraining emotions and remembering what goal you set for this: to punish the child? Express your attitude to the act? Help him realize he's wrong? Or solve the problem with him?

3. Not close to their friends

Parents will not be superfluous to get acquainted with the closest social circle of their children. To do this, it is enough just to often invite them to visit for a cup of tea with a pie.

This will not only strengthen your relationship, but also help you be calm for your own child. If one of the teenager's friends is very worried about you, you can delicately discuss it with him. Relying on your opinion, he himself will draw a conclusion about his friend.

1. Spend little time together

It only at first glance seems that teenagers are already quite big and do not need parental attention and affection. Even if you have very little time - let quality replace quantity. On weekdays, it is enough to spend half an hour or an hour together, but without distractions for your business, you can devote the weekend to a joint trip, watching a movie or playing games.

If the joint life of parents and a teenager is reduced only to formal communication, he may begin to feel unnecessary, unprotected, feel hopeless, have a weak self-esteem.

Adolescence, as many adults say, is a very difficult period for children who have not yet become adults. In our country, it is generally accepted that if a child has entered a transitional period, then expect trouble. Taking this information seriously, teenagers themselves believe that they are supposed to lead a wild life at this age, argue with their parents and do everything the way they want. No one thinks that the problems of adolescents directly depend on us - adults who, in theory, should help children overcome this period of life with the greatest benefit for the health and intelligence of a teenager. However, many parents and teachers in schools believe that only prohibitions can bring up the correct behavior of a teenager, but this is far from the case. This is where many children and alcoholism, drug addiction, etc. come from.

Today, smoking is a huge threat to the health and development of future generations. As a result of the early onset of smoking experience (from 10-11 years old) by the end of high school, 20% of children become heavy smokers who are addicted and smoke 10 to 40 cigarettes a day. And this applies to both boys and girls. With schoolchildren, by the eighth grade, about 40% of students already begin to smoke, and many of them, especially girls, do not consider smoking 1-2 cigarettes a day.

Alcoholism is the scourge of our society! The culture of society is so low that the alcohol campaigns carried out by manufacturing firms are becoming more and more intensified, their profits are growing every year, and the health of young people is deteriorating. In recent years, cases of bronchial asthma, gastritis, cirrhosis, etc. have become more frequent. All this is due to early dependence on alcohol and smoking.

And who will solve the problems of teenagers in our society? The unformed psyche and social uncertainty of adolescents do not allow them to independently understand the issues of a healthy lifestyle and social adaptation.

Recently, all of the above problems have been joined by the problem of teenagers' enthusiasm for virtual communication. This all-consuming social network, which holds in a voluntary captivity the mind of a teenager. Many parents are glad that their child "does not hang around with just anyone" and "does not drink vodka with a company", but sits quietly at home near the computer and stares endlessly at the monitor screen. But, as doctors and psychologists point out, the influence of an electronic "friend" is no less harmful than alcohol or drug addiction. As computer addiction develops, health deteriorates, posture and vision are disturbed, diseases develop gastrointestinal tract, but the most terrible, there is a change in the personality of the child. He becomes withdrawn, stops communicating with peers, and eventually loses his communication skills altogether. Such teenagers become socially unadapted; in adult life they cannot create a family, have children, take responsibility for their actions, etc. This is a huge problem of the younger generation, the problems of adolescents at the state level, since the number of able-bodied population is decreasing every year, the percentage of disability is growing, the birth rate is falling.

The problems of teenagers are the problems of our society! By our example, we must show children how to develop physically and intellectually, grow in professional activities, and build interpersonal relationships. All this is necessary in plain language explain and demonstrate, and not turn away and wave your hand. Because this is our future.

Teenage years are a serious test for the child and his parents. Adolescents often argue with their parents, they are trying to achieve greater independence and a minimum of control from adults. This is a natural step, however, parents during this period have to deal with disrespect for themselves.

In situations where a teenager's behavior becomes increasingly problematic, it is important to resolve a difficult situation before it gets out of hand.

The main problems of modern teenagers:

1. A teenager is obsessed with electronic devices.
Most teenagers are constantly focused on mobile phones and text messages, it's a way for them to always stay in touch with their friends. However, this should not interfere with other aspects of their lives, such as studying, helping around the house, and self-development.

Some parents install computers in the common rooms of the house to be able to monitor activities; others set time limits on the use of devices. In addition, you can set restrictions on various sites and programs with unwanted content.

2. A teenager is hostile to parents.
Parents may not notice when their affectionate child has turned into an irritable teenager who behaves disrespectfully, speaks in a boorish way, rolls his eyes and ignores the rules. For most of adolescence, young people learn their own patterns of behavior, which would be different from the behavior of their parents.

The opinion of friends is valued much more than the opinion of family, and this can be dangerous. Be that as it may, it is important to establish basic norms of behavior, and an important rule is the prohibition of swearing with parents. Your teen must understand that you will not tolerate inexcusable behavior towards you.

3. A teenager quickly loses his temper.
Any words provoke a teenager to irritation and rage, make them scream, cry, stomp their feet and run away to another room. This is often the result of physical and emotional changes that the child is going through. However, this seriously complicates communication with him.

Try to change your tactics - instead of moralizing and advice, try expressing sympathy for him. This will allow you to connect with your teenager and achieve honest communication.

4. A teenager tells a lie.
There are many reasons why a teenager may not be telling you the truth. For example, the desire to hide some facts from parents as a way to achieve greater independence. When your child hides the details of his life, it can be a warning sign that he has fallen into bad company and is engaged in dishonest business.

It may also mean that a teenager will not turn to you for help if they need it. It is necessary to understand what kind of problems the teenager is hiding. In case of unsuccessful attempts, it makes sense to seek help from a psychologist.

5. Teenager arrives late.
Adolescents often experience limits, and often deliberately break the established curfew. Before you start a row, try to find out if the curfew set by the parents of his friends is really much later than yours.

If you're worried about your teen engaging in dangerous activities, then make sure you warn them of the consequences and are able to enforce the rules to break the nascent dangerous habit.

6. Teen chooses bad friends.
You may think that some of your teen's friends dress inappropriately and are a bad influence, but this is not always a cause for alarm. A teenager can be very attached to friends, and any criticism of them will be taken sharply as personal criticism. Therefore, it is often better not to express your opinion too harshly.

Of course, if you're worried about your child taking drugs or engaging in other dangerous activities, it's important to intervene early. Family therapy can help find solutions to the bad influences of friends.

7. Teen experiments with sex.
It is natural for adolescents to be more interested in sex, due to the increase hormonal changes in organism. It is important for parents to make sure that the child has an understanding of possible consequences sex.

If you find that your teenager is already sexually active, try to be objective and look for ways to deal with emotional and physical problems if they have already happened.

8. A teenager uses drugs.
Teenagers can be curious about drugs, so it's important to make sure your warning about their dangers is upfront. It is necessary to try to create such an environment in communication with a teenager in which, on the one hand, he will be comfortable talking with you about his curiosity, but, on the other hand, your position on the dangers of drugs will remain firm.

Try to understand why a teenager wants to use drugs. Perhaps friends in his company insist on it. Asking questions directly will help you find a more effective solution to your drug problem.

There are situations, such as abuse or sexual addiction, that require professional intervention. Psychotherapists and other psychologists can help find a possible solution to the problem.